Budgeting can feel like a trap. It’s easy to think that if we just find the perfect system, we can put our finances on autopilot. But here’s the truth: No planner, app, or spreadsheet will do the work for you. You have to interact with your budget to get the results you want. The trick is to find that “Goldilocks zone”—a plan that’s not so complex it overwhelms you but not so simple that you forget to use it.
Sometimes, budgeting is a math problem. Money is serious stuff, and we need to account for everything. But detailed doesn’t have to mean complicated. I’m a bit of a nerd, and I love a good spreadsheet. But it takes me so long to set one up that my ADHD brain loses interest before I even start using it. That’s why the K.I.S.S. method—”Keep It Simple, Sweetie”—works best for me.
The biggest challenge, though, isn’t the math—it’s human behavior. If personal finance were just about the numbers, more of us would be fine. But even the best budget falls apart when you’re tempted by the latest Stanley cup, a new iPhone, or Halloween decorations in August. (I don’t care that it’s still summer—Spooky Season is coming, and I’m ready!)
These aren’t bad things—if you budget for them. The danger comes when we tie our self-worth to being perfect with our budget or depriving ourselves of all joy in the name of financial discipline. That’s a recipe for binge spending, guilt, and regret.
Two categories are non-negotiable in any budget: fun money and miscellaneous.
Fun money: Every person in the household needs an age-appropriate personal allowance—money they don’t have to justify. Even if the adults get just $50 a month, this is guilt-free cash to spend as you please. My husband and I even have separate accounts for our fun money, so we can surprise each other without spoiling the budget. A household slush fund is also essential—another $50 or so for impromptu pizza nights or movie outings. This “just because” money keeps you from feeling strangled by your budget.
Miscellaneous: This is for all the little things that don’t fit neatly into your monthly categories but aren’t serious enough to dip into your emergency fund for. Say your electric kettle dies, and it’s $25 to replace—this is where that money comes from. Having $200 set aside for these incidentals prevents you from cluttering your budget with dozens of random line items. If you don’t spend it all this month, roll it over or put it toward your current priority.
Before we got on a workable budget, my husband and I relied on our household credit card to tell us how much we could spend. We were careful to pay it off every month—until we couldn’t. Without a clear plan, we overspent, racked up interest, and ended up making payments on things we bought a month ago.
We even missed my mom’s 70th birthday trip because our fuzzy budgeting made me think we’d have enough money when the time came. We didn’t. That was a big wake-up call for us.
About a year before we found Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps, things got so bad that we filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy. That meant giving up credit cards and taking on no new debt. Suddenly, shopping trips became anxiety-inducing. We had a budget spreadsheet, but I’d still find myself in the grocery store, worrying if buying extra hot dogs on sale would leave my husband without gas money. Thankfully, our financial worries never turned into fights, but we had some tense conversations.
Start with a realistic and flexible budget. The word “budget” can feel like a buzzkill, conjuring up visions of austerity and no fun. But just like a too-restrictive diet will send you diving into a mountain of donuts, an iron-clad budget with no room for life will have you throwing random things into your cart or midnight-clicking on Amazon. The key is to plan your money—but plan for fun and flexibility, too, especially when you’re laser-focused on a goal.
Or, as my Army Sergeant son-in-law likes to say, “embrace the suck.” You need to know where you are and how you got there before you can move forward. Find a budget structure that works for you, then review your last few months of bank statements to see where your money really went. Do this without judgment—just use the discomfort to fuel your determination to be more intentional with your money.
There are plenty of free budgeting apps out there. My go-to is EveryDollar. You can use it on your computer or phone, and the basic features are all you need. Start plugging in numbers. At first, it may look ugly, but don’t panic—just get it all out there, then start editing.
You need reliable transportation; you want a shiny new car. You need food; you want the convenience of eating out. You need a phone; you want the latest model. The trickier part is prioritizing needs over wants when the differences aren’t so obvious.
If keeping your streaming services means delaying your debt payoff, it might be time to hit pause. But remember, this isn’t forever. You can add these luxuries back in once you’ve created some breathing room in your budget. (For quick tips on freeing up cash, check out my free flipbook, “Wiggle Room: 5 Things You Can Do to Shake Some Cash Free FAST!”)
“Pay yourself first” is classic advice for a reason. Make sure essential payments are next in line. I’m a big fan of sub-accounts. Our paychecks go into an account that auto-transfers to several others:
This setup keeps me from looking at a lump sum in our checking account and wondering what’s actually available for groceries.
If it’s not written down, it doesn’t exist. If it’s not in front of me, it’s not written down! That’s why I love the upgraded version of EveryDollar, which links to my bank accounts. I can see how much I have left in a category and how much is in the bank. When we got started, my husband and I had weekly Budget Committee Meetings, but now we only sit down for a formal discussion at the end of each month to plan the next one. This keeps us on track and helps us anticipate any irregular expenses.
Setting up a budget can feel like getting a raise—suddenly, you know where your money is going. But it also means facing reality—no more robbing Peter to pay Paul. The first three months of budgeting can be rough. Month one, you’ll wonder how you’ve made it this far. Month two, you’ll start getting the hang of it but might still go over budget. By month three, you’ll be refining and feeling more confident. That’s why my Standard Startup Program is four months long—I’m here to help you through the tough bits and keep you focused.
Now, revising our budget is fun! In the beginning, it was thrilling to see what we could do with the extra money that used to go to debt. These days, if I’m tightening up, it’s for something specific—like saving for a pricy dog training program I’ve been eyeing. We shuffle things around for a few months, and then, we’re all set.
Imagine this: You’re on a family vacation (paid for with cash because you’re debt-free and planned it all out). One morning, you find a tree branch has cracked your car’s windshield. The car still runs, but you’re not going anywhere until it’s fixed.
Thanks to your budget, you can cover the unexpected cost without missing out on today’s adventures or stressing about your bank account. You’re still on track with your goals, and your emergency fund took a hit, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. That’s the freedom and peace of mind a solid budget and emergency fund can provide.
You don’t have to do this alone. You can continue struggling, or you can take action today. There are books, podcasts, classes, and groups out there to support you. But if you want personalized guidance, a financial coach can help you find the best path forward. Just make sure you understand any plan before committing to it.
